The many reasons one grieves

Are there different types of grief?

What is grief? 

Grief is a normal emotional response to loss or change. Grief is the end of or change of a familiar pattern of behavior. Grief is completely normal and, in many cases, necessary to be able to cope in life. Grief is about our heartbreaking. So many people have been taught to think their way through grief. I am here to tell from experience that thinking your way through the grief of any kind will only stuff the feelings for them to continue to resurface at times you least expect them. 

 Is Death the only cause of grief?

Death is a common cause of grief many people believe it is the only cause of grief. Conflicting feelings can also cause grief. These conflicting feelings can be caused by changes in life or patterns or the end of something. There can be a sense of relief as well as sadness associated with a loss. Any significant changes in our lives can bring feelings associated with grief. 


10 Examples tangible life events that may cause grief:

  1. Death: Loss of a living being. An animal or a Person. An example would be the death of a child or parent or a dog.
  2. Divorce: Dissolution of marriage, the process of terminating a marriage union. A husband and wife separating a marriage. 
  3. Retirement: The act of one leaving one’s job and ceasing to work. Someone having a job for 30 years and is coming to an end
  4. Graduating: Where one successfully completes an academic degree or high school. 
  5. Romantic break-up: This is the termination of a romantic relationship other than death. 
  6. Moving: Moving: could look like residing in one city and moving to another. This can bring about huge changes in one’s life that can bring relief as well as grief.
  7. Disfellowshipping/banishment: The punishment of being sent away. The action of getting rid of something unwanted
  8. Losing a job: being fired, laid off, Loss of your permanent income to sustain life as one knows it.
  9. Bankruptcy: Repossession of car or home. This is a legal proceeding when one is unable to pay for the outstanding debt.
  10. Court proceeding: Being part of a legal proceeding involving the courts and family of law. Such as a parenting plan or custody case. 

The causes of grief can be tangible as well as intangible. 

4 intangible events that may cause grief: 

  1. An athlete can no longer play his sport due to an injury.
  2. Receiving a diagnosis of a terminal illness, such as cancer.
  3. Being a child placed in an unsafe situation. 
  4. Losing faith after a series of devastating events.

All of these are intangible things that summon feelings of grief.

Misconceptions about grief

Many people believe that we all grieve in the same way. That is extremely far from the truth. How each of us grieves or chooses to grieve depends on many different realities. The type of relationship one may have had or maybe did not have with the loss. The intensity of the emotions that may or may not have been involved play a part as well. Every one of us has a completely different emotional makeup so we are not even capable of grieving exactly the same, in any given circumstance. 

As a result, grieving being an individual experience is also unique to each person. The intensity of how someone grieves their loss is directly related to the uniqueness of their relationship.

No two people will grieve the same way to the same loss. This is particularly important to remember while dealing with someone who is grieving or even for yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. 

To recap grief is a normal emotional response to different kinds of life situations.

Next, we will talk about ways to deal with grief.







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