We have all had “To-do lists” miles long that feel so very over whelming. They usually have things on them such as mow the lawn, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, paint the house. Items that are significant that need to be completed. This list can often get put aside, feeling heavy, especially in times of grief. Like how am I ever going to get all of this done in one day? Will I ever be able to complete it? I do not have the energy. Some of the things on this list may have a cost associated with them, which can carry heaviness. Such as paint the house or fix the car, pay bills.
A daily success log can be done in a couple of different ways. My favorite way is to use it as a list of things I “did” accomplish, such as Dishes, meditation, exercise, taking kids to school. I got dressed, brushed my teeth, loaded the washer, made kids lunch, walked the kids to the bus, showered, made dinner. It is a list of the actual things you have done in the day. When one is grieving or coping with anxiety, essential daily habits feel heavy and nearly impossible at times. Often we go through our day feeling as if we have not done a damn thing. All of a sudden, it’s bedtime, and you feel like I didn’t get anything done today. When you keep a daily success log, you can look back and see exactly what you did with your time. It can guide how you can become more productive because you get to see exactly how you are spending your time. Or you may find areas where you can fit in some of the things that are on that “To-do list.” Another thing it can be useful for observing whether you are doing self-care. Without self-care, we really are not any good to others. Like our kids, we perform higher in our jobs. It also helps us recover from grief and trauma, release anger and be present in everyday life.
Some people use a success log differently. You can make a list of things you want to achieve daily and check them off as you accomplish them. Personally, I feel everything we do in a day is important, and it is a great thing to keep track of even the small things so we can look back and know exactly what we are focusing our attention on. This would have been extremely helpful as a young mom for me after my youngest son’s death. Because you have so many things we take for granted that moms do. So much is expected, and we so often feel defeated by the everyday tasks. Then you add in all the whirlwind of emotions while grieving. We forget to add in self-care. Self-care is essential when you are grieving a loss. Some have been taught self-care was selfish.
A daily success log can help you in many ways. It can help you see exactly what you are accomplishing. It can help you see where you can be more productive with your time. It can help you find a way and time to fit in self -care. For us to be present in life, self-care is essential while dealing with grief. What does self-care look like for a griever?
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